When someone asks me where I find the strength to care for her, I can honestly say: I had no idea I was capable of all this. Not because I am particularly strong. But because life did not place all the burdens on my shoulders at once.
At first, only one or two tasks came my way. Little by little, I found myself taking on more responsibilities around the house. At first it was handling the finances and preparing meals. Later I became responsible for almost everything in our daily routine. Today, I also help with personal care.
If someone had told me all of this at once years ago, I probably would have answered: I could never do that. Yet, humans are often capable of more than they think they are. If you always just try to take the next step, you can succeed at many things.
My other important realization was that I cannot live in the past all the time. If I constantly look at how my partner used to be, what we have lost, or how unfair this whole thing is, it is very easy to sink into self-pity. These feelings are natural, but if I stay trapped in them all day, my strength drains away. That is why I try to focus on today instead. On what they need right now, what we can solve, what went well today. It is not a perfect life, but it is our life.
Living with dementia takes away a lot of things. But at the same time, it reveals abilities within us that we did not even know existed before. We did not choose this path. But since we are already walking on it, it is worth pausing every now and then to notice how much we have learned and grown along the way.
Yes, I am tired, and I cannot always be patient. But I have become resilient and adaptable in ways I could never have imagined before.
Important Disclaimer
The information and advice presented on this website and in this article are for informational purposes only. They do not constitute a medical diagnosis or individual therapeutic recommendations. The operator/author of the website assumes no liability for any direct or indirect damages, health issues, or misunderstandings resulting from the use of this information. Everyone applies the described methods at their own risk. Please consult your physician before making any lifestyle changes or applying any complementary therapies.
About the Author
Suzanne Sandwiese – Dementia Caregiver, Mental Health Assistant
I have more than 12 years of practical experience in caring for elderly people and patients living with dementia. My goal is to translate knowledge about dementia into understandable, practical advice that can be applied in daily life, thereby helping families live together with the disease. As the author of several professional books and the founder of a popular Facebook page, my mission is to provide clear and, above all, usable guidance to all those who care for loved ones living with dementia.
https://www.amazon.com/author/suzannesandwiese
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